Words seem so inadequate for some of the events and happenings that cross our paths. Sometimes the beauty of photographs fail to capture those raw feelings that we experience so strongly and long before fading off till they are just barely there.
Six months ago on the 14th of March our brother (my hubby’s brother) and his wife were given a son, twelve weeks early just a small one pound and thirteen ounces. He only came for 14 minutes, a short 14 minutes his heart beat before God swept down and took him in his arms to bring this sweet angel to heaven.
Our hearts beat hollow, raw and ragged as we held this angel in our arms, trying to imagine how we would already have to say goodbye when we were just starting to say hello. Our minds couldn’t wrap around the notion that our brother and his wife in their 20s already were bearing this arduous and difficult trial so early on.
At the time I was five months pregnant, with two healthy babies already wiggling and kicking around, feeling guilty that they couldn’t keep their love here on Earth, that they had to give them up so soon and how unfair it all seemed and still does.
But we have so much comfort that in those few months he spent in his momma’s belly and those fourteen minutes here on earth he didn’t know pain or hardships, only the purest, unconditional and life-changing love from his mother, father and big sister. There is something so amazingly healing and whole to think of a child’s life composed of whispers and hugs of love and the readings of books and the sweet melodies of songs. A life of peace for our angel, and it is only through these thoughts that we are slowly able to keep moving, knowing that he has landed into Heaven, so precious, so perfect.
We ALL miss you, but your momma, dad and sister most of all. Your photos grace the table in the living room, a magnet on the fridge. And your tiny footprints and handprints sit about the table, a forever reminder of your sweet soul. Somedays are better than others, and sometimes we ache so much for one more turn to hold you, to visit you and to dream of your future. The other day we went out to the cemetery, I am ashamed to say I have not seen your headstone yet. I brought out the twins to see you and we met your momma, dad and sister there. Your stone is beautiful with “Forever in our Hearts” written on, such a simple phrase but oh such meaning it has. We sent four lanterns to you in Heaven, we MISS you, we LOVE you, keep watching over us and thank you for teaching us so much about life in your short time you were here. You and the twins would of been the same age, got muddy at Grandpa’s Farm together and played tractors and cars. You would of gone to school same time, gotten your drivers license just months apart and graduated together. So many togethers to think about and so many happenings you will be missed. But, my dear I am betting that Heaven is wonderful and that you are enjoying Great Grandma and Grandpa Haataja. Although I know there is nothing more you would want then to hear your momma and dad cooing at you, your sister playing mother hen to you and to play with Grandma and Grandpa and your cousins.
Your memory lives on my dear sweet boy, when we feel the breeze rustle the falling leaves of the season and we hear the sweet melody of it, we know you are there letting us know you are home and reminding us that we will see you again someday.
We love you sweet boy,
*Some of the photos were taken by Becky Wikman and Tiffany Haataja